Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Where Am I?

We're still going around in the whirl wind of life. I was sorely mistaken when I thought that life would slow down after Mike was done with school. We have been catching up on things that were on hold for a while. Like dentist and doctor visits, yard work, housework, bike fixing, computer fixing, extended family issues, catching up with old friends, I've been able to rest alot because I have this horrible cold that I am having a hard time getting over and we have all been able to have a few lazy days.

The job hunt remains in full swing. Mike has had many interviews and one offer. The offer is from a hospital in Bangor at Acadia in the adolescent psyche unit. While this is a job he would really like, it's far away and we really want to stay here. If he took the job at Acadia, we would have to move north. He also had an outstanding interview at Maine General today for a position in the E.R. We really hope he gets this one. We could stay in this ward and it would relieve the pressure of an immediate move. He could commute until we move closer to Augusta.

SURPRISE!!! Barring all complications, we will become a family of eight right before Christmas. We found out last week that there is a little person growing in my belly. This makes pregnancy number ten and hopefully baby number six. It doesn't need to be said that this is unexpected and was (supposedly) being prevented. So I like to say that this is our "bonus baby." I had mixed feelings when I found out. I felt blessed but also really scared. I felt that we might eventually have another, but not before x,y and z (eliminated some risk factors) happened and most certainly not in December. I was most afraid that the doctor was going to advise me to terminate. I knew emotionally I could not handle that. So before we went to the doctor we did a whole lot of praying and felt at peace with this pregnancy.

The doctor explained in great detail what the risks were and relieved many of our fears. It wasn't nearly as bad as I had blown it up to be in my head. (I worry soooo much during pregnancy. Seriously, I think I need an anxiety med or something!) He basically said that we were going to worry alot (I don't need any help with that one), monitor me very closely and deal with problems if and when they arise. He did mention termination as an option, but did not advise it. We knew we weren't even going to consider it, because the Lord told us that everything would be fine. But it was great to know that he felt that it was probable that both me and baby would live. What a relief!!!

So, I am right in the middle of the pukey-sick stage. I gag at anything that has a smell stronger than water. I can't have a conversation with someone rocking in a chair, it makes me dizzy and therefor sick. I have to drive (even when Mike is with us) or else I get car sick. I have to breathe through my mouth when changing a poopy diaper so I don't gag. I can't brush my tongue. I have terrible heartburn (I love Pepcid). I am irritable and a rotten mother (just ask my kids). It takes alot of effort to be nice to people (I am asking for forgiveness in advance in case I offend any of you). I take a nap every day. I have to take frequent breaks during menial tasks like unloading the dishwasher. I sleep with a pitcher just in case I spontaneously puke in the night. My boobs hurt. My arm tingles at night. I crave cinnamon. I often feel sensory overload, especially when the kids are all around me, touching me. I feel itchy at night. Oh...and did I mention that I absolutley hate being pregnant? I love the baby, hate being pregnant. I know, I know. I will feel extremely guilty for saying that if I have another misscarriage. I always do. But I really do hate being pregnant. I can't deny it. I am one who writes on the calendar "week 10, week 11, week 12"........and so on, just because I like to know how much I have accomplised so far. For me, not being pregnant at the end of nine months is the best part, the baby is the bonus. So on Saturday I will be eleven weeks. All of my misscarriages have happened between eight and twelve weeks, so I like to think that I am almost "in the clear." There was no indication of a problem at my ultrasound on Monday. So we are praying that all will go well. As much as I complain, I really am thankful for this new life.



kath001 said...

Best wishes for a healthy happy baby and you! You'll be in my prayers. k

Tara said...

Congrats...good luck. You'll be in our prayers.

Angela said...

Oh my goodness! Congratulations- I wondered where the heck you have been! I am so excited for you- I will try and give you a call this week and let's get caught up! Did you go to the conference?

Lena said...

Coming out of lurkdom to say congrats!! I am with you on the hate being pregnant part. I hope everything goes as smoothly as it possibly can.