Sunday, October 26, 2008

Feeling Better

I went (again) to the doctor on Thursday. I started asking questions about the frequency of my visits. When I asked her why I needed the biophysical profiles (really long ultrasound) every week, she said that the risk of sudden death to the baby is high with gestational diabetes babies. I was shocked, as this has never been mentioned to me in any of my (3) previous G.D. pregnancies. Of course I immediately started to worry. I became obsessed with tracking movement and would panic if it had been too long since I felt her move. After I left the doctor it occurred to me that I should have asked "So is the profile to see if the baby has died or is it to look for signs that could lead to the death of the baby?" I forgot to ask if there was a known cause for this "sudden death." So I came home and did some research. I found out that the biophysical profiles are to look for the deterioration of the vessels in the umbilical cord, and the flow of blood to the vital organs. It is common for the fluctuation of the sugar in my blood, to cause the vessels to deteriorate, collapse and cut off nutrients and oxygen to the baby. If this started happening, they would take her early. It was comforting to me to know that there are warning signs of "sudden death" and with close monitoring through the weekly profiles, we will have a good chance of catching the problem.

There was no budging on the 2x week NST's, either. It must be done. It's going to be a long road from here on out. I figured out that I will have 20 visits between now and the delivery.

I signed the tubal ligation papers a couple of weeks ago. I had to get used to the idea before I made this information public. I was encouraged to do this when I had Liam, but just didn't feel like I was ready, or "done." I was afraid of mourning the loss of my fertility. What if I regreted the decision 2,3 or four years down the road. I just couldn't come to terms with it. This time, though, I know that I can NOT do this again. My body just can't take it. I know we are not supposed to make such a decision while pregnant, but I actually made this decision before I ever got pregnant with this little pink caboose. So our train will roll on, but will not pick up any additional cargo. We have made this a matter of prayer. There are many practical reasons like, we can't afford it. More importantly, though.......we know our family is (almost) complete.


Monday, October 13, 2008


Mike says he misses my postings....I do too. I have been reading a really good book lately and been trying to get to bed earlier, so blogging falls pretty low on the priority list.
A visit to the doctor last week was somewhat discouraging. They informed me that because of the G.D., they won't take the baby more than a week early without doing an amnio. That's the test where they stick the big long needle in your stomach, all the way to the uterus to draw out amniotic fluid. I am terrified of such a procedure. They have to look for a certain protein that will indicate sufficiently mature lungs. Of course I am in disagreement about the necessity of the amnio. After all, I have had three G.D. babies, all of which were 2+ weeks early, and not one of them had underdeveloped lungs. The other thing is, they have December 30th on my chart as my due date. Huh????? At my first ultrasound, which is supposed to be the most accurate for dating a pregnancy, I was given the date of December 27th. When I questioned the doctor about this, he said that we are going by the date of your last period. I reminded him that that date was a guess....I was pregnant for nearly two months when I found out. I didn't even remember when my last cycle was. So tell me, since when does a guess outweigh the (supposedly) perfect reliability of that first ultrasound? Does three days really make all that much difference? Why, yes. It's the difference between an amnio and no amnio. I have an appointment on Thursday and will bring it up....again.
Starting next week I have to go for a fetal survey every week and NST's twice a week. Anyone available to baby sit?

PS I had another fetal survey on Tuesday. She is nearly 4 pounds according the technicians measurements, which have never been reliable in the past, but could be this time. At this rate were looking at a ten pounder.