Thursday, August 30, 2007


Mike and the boys came home this evening, They had a wonderful time. They didn't even use the canoe, though. They found something better......kayaks. They had them for rent at the lake. Mike rented a double for him and Harrison, and Caleb got his own. He had never done it before and found it to be lots of fun. He said it goes way faster than the canoe. (Imagine that, he is only 65 pounds). On the lake they saw loons come up from under the water right in front of them. And the highlight for Caleb.....they saw three Osprey. They even saw them dive and catch fish. (Think nature movie...only live). This was especially great for Caleb because he has been studying birds of prey the last few months and knew every habit, physical characteristic, flight pattern and sound of the Osprey. He knows his facts, it's amazing. Their campsite was lovely, too. Complete with a wonderful band who call I can't remember, something about the Appelacian Trail. Some of the members were young kids and they were inspiring to Caleb. They went on a beautiful hike, too. All around they had a great time.

As for the "elephant".......nothing too grave, except maybe to my sons psychological health. You see, it got to the point where he was in trouble more than he was out. We were experiencing (what we found) incurable behavior. I started to understand, a little bit, the frustration that my Dad had with my brother (and maybe me, too). Caleb was constantly pushing limits, testing boundaries, bossing the younger kids, procrastinating like crazy, trying to avoid anything that required physical or mental effort. I could go on, but you get the idea. We found ourselves merely tolerating him, and that is no way to live and a terrible way to be raised. " What is this doing to his self confidence?" we thought. It must feel so bad to always feel like you are in trouble. He wasn't changing his behavior, no matter the consequences imposed. We would set time limits, to no avail. We tried everything. And I don't mean just the mean stuff, like harsher consequences (I saw that totally backfire with my brother.) We tried literally everything. He deserves to be embraced, respected, loved, cherished and valued. He desreves to have a happy life, one where he learns from mistakes and moves forward. HE deserves to have positive interactions with his parents. But it was like the (bad) behavior was always at the forefront and we could only occasionally see past it. For a long time I carried the guilt. Thinking this behavior is a reflection of me and the way I parent him. I can't tell you how many times I resolved to be more positive, more loving, more patient, more open minded, more objective........( it must be must be must be me...I need to do something different.) Then admitting defeat, I found myself saying "Well, I'll do my best and hope he turns out ok." Now, mind you, I hate the term used by my Mother..."I did the best I knew how." and I pride myself in doing BETTER than I know how. But this kid had me stumped. "Do I not have what it takes?" I thought. Maybe not. WHAT THE HE**??? He is only NINE (at the time) and I still have alot of raising to do. I can't give up on him now. What am I saying?? It finally occured to me that maybe HE isn't actually choosing his behavior. Maybe there is a deeper problem. (What I call the "ELEPHANT"). Maybe I should discuss this with the doctor. (Now you are thinking...DUH!! I know, I already fell so bad about waiting so long.) Boy has this been an amazing and exhausting journey. But now we are here and our elephant is gone. They call it ADHD. I hate even typing those letters. I have never told anyone, I hate the stigma that is attached to this disorder. I didn't believe in this before he was diagnosed. I thought that Ridalin was just a drug they gave kids to make them fit into a mold in the public school. I know that I can accomidate Caleb's non traditional learning style. It's not about that. That is not why we sought help. It was all of the other things I mentioned above. Caleb is on a medication (not Ridalin, he is on a non-stimulant) and has made a complete turn around. It has literally changed our home life for the better. His behavior was affecting the whole family, I am not exagerating!!! I can't even remember the last time he was in time out or lost a privelage. Love to and from Caleb flows more freely now. His true self shines brightly and I am so grateful to the Lord for helping us to get past our ego's and our "we can handle this" attitude.
I share this story in hopes that it will help somebody else. Please don't judge us to be bad parents. The medication is NOT a substitute for good parenting. (A myth I use to believe, so judgemental was I) And Caleb knows that good behavior is not found in a pill. We have explained it to him in a way that still makes him accountable for his behavior.
It really doesn't matter, anyway. Nobody really understands this until they experience it. We know (the proof is in the pudding) that this was the right decision for our son.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

It's 12:12 am

I remember in high school we always use to make a wish at 12:12. I always use to wish that the next three minutes would speed by because lunch break was at 12:15.....oh how I hated third lunch. I was always starving by that time.
It is a quiet night---maybe too quiet. The babes went to bed at 8:30 without a fuss. I only have the two youngest home with me tonight. Mike took the older boys camping and Lundi is still in Utah, and as of last night, still not missing us, I would rather her not miss us than be crying to come home. I am so glad she is having a great time with her cousins.
Today has been a precious day with my children. I felt like I had all the time in the world to read to them, play with them and dance with them. (Liam has taken a liking to dancing and it is the cutest thing!) I love all of my children and am so grateful to have them in my life. But at times like these, I wonder....."Would I be a better Mom if I only had two?" Sometimes I feel like I spread myself so thin that my quality of Mothering suffers. Mike and I made it a matter of prayer before conceiving each one of our children, so I know they are supposed to be here. I pray that the Lord will compensate for all of my inadequacies and short comings. It sure has been a special gift to be able to sloooooow way down and focus on just two today. I don't get this opportunity very often.
Do you ever know that something is wrong and just ignore it? I think I have heard it called "an elephant in the living room." Well, we had one of those. Mike and I acknowledged it to each other, had countless talks about it and just thought we could fix it on our own. So we let the years tick by, while our elephant sat there.....acknowledged but yet ignored. Trying new ways, new advice and countless parenting books with great ideas to try to get rid of it. I think we knew how to fix it but were being stubborn, atleast I was. Mike has never been one to question my way of parenting, so he went along with whatever decision I made concerning this elephant. This has been a struggle for us for years.......I mean years. And it has gotten progressively worse, to the point that I felt it was doing ireparable damage. So....about 10 months ago we decided to seek help (at the time against our "better judgment".) I knew what they would say, but I didn't want to hear it, but yet I did. I wanted to make sense of these struggles. I wanted to learn some new strategies and tactics to cope with this elephant. Again, still seeking to handle it on my own. In desperation I took their advice, after trying everything else I could think of. Can I just tell you what a great decision that was and how bad I wish I had done it sooner? I beat myself up over this. Mothering never comes without guilt, as any Mother knows. I am now on a path of recovering some things that I may have missed, I am trying to repair some of the damage that this elephant has left in our house. But you know, I feel like the good turn around is happening very fast. I feel blessed. I feel like things are going so much better. The dynamics of our house seem to be so much better.
Now you might wonder what this "elephant" is and I would probably tell you if you asked. But for now, just know that I am happy, overjoyed, more at peace and thankful that it is gone.
Next time we encounter such a challenge (as I am sure we will, they are part of life), I will not take so long to get rid of it. I will listen to my "gut" (aka....the Holy Ghost) a lot sooner.

PS I know there are many spelling errors in this post, but I am typing this on Mike's Mac and don't know how to use the spellcheck on this machine. My PC totally died yesterday and I hope it can be fixed before Mike starts school on Wednesday and falls off the face of the earth. If not, I will just have to use the kids' very slow computer.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Kissing in the Kitchen

I think that my children have watched one too many cartoons with weddings in them. As they think that when people kiss, they are getting married. Caleb always hides his eyes in embarrassment, Harrison impatiently says "get it over with" and the girls look longingly at the TV, hands folded under their chins with twinkles in their eyes, memorizing every detail.
So tonight, Mike and I were kissing in the kitchen when Lauren walks in. She said "Are YOU getting married? Guys, come see!!! (Calling the boys from the living room) They are getting married again!" She stood there smiling, encouraging us to do it again. It's hard to have a passionate kiss while laughing at a cute little four year old cheering you on.
It's funny to see all the different opinions of kissing that my children display. I wonder if these views will remain when they become teenagers.
Mike and I have been seriously contemplating "THE TALK" lately. Is 10 a good age? We think so. We definitely want him to hear it from us (our views from a religious perspective) before he hears it from the rest of the world and gets a warped perception. I am sure that if he were in PS he would know something by now. But as far as I know, he has no clue. We will approach the subject prayerfully and hope for the best. It will be interesting, though. If he gets embarrassed when he sees people kiss, what is he going to do when he comes to our locked bedroom door and he knows what we are doing? Poor kid!!! Maybe we can pretend that he is not connecting all the dots know, be in denial like my parents were. Ya right! I think that knowing and them knowing that I knew (in other words, them giving us "THE TALK") would have been much better than knowing and having to pretend to be oblivious.
(Warning....abrupt subject cnange....) For some reason, I am looking forward to going shopping for school supplies. I loved doing it when I was a kid, too. I love the smell of a new box of crayons. Right now, all the stores are having their sales, too. Notebooks for $.11, colored pencils for $1.00, scissors for $.50...., Elmers glue for $.22. I love these sales. By the way, where is the "cents" sign on the key board? Is there one? Using the "$" sign just doesn't look right.
Anyway, I will retire for the evening, I hope you have a great week.
I love the Lord, as he blesses me daily!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Just wondering

The other day a friend (A.D.) surprised me when she said she reads my blog. (Wow. Really?) Like I have said before, I write for selfish reasons. I have never been consistant in keeping a journal but for some reason, I like this form of journaling. Someday I will print it out for my posterity. Anyway, it got my thinking.....who else lurks here without showing themselves? If you don't leave a comment, I have no way of knowing. I have always been afraid of peeping toms, so if you are one....let me know! (kidding) . On mike's blog (WordPress) there is a way to track readership and where they are from. But Blogger doesn't have that feature, atleast that I am aware of.
I already miss Lundi. (What? I only need to set five places at the table? Only four kids to get bathed and clothes ready for Sunday? Weird.) However, I see some sweet little relationships growing between C&H and also between L&L. The dynamics change when there is an even ammount of kids, it has been beautiful to witness.
Mike took the kids swimming at the river tonight. They had fun. Lauren exclaimed, as soon as she walked in the door..."Mommy, I did swim with the fish!" Maybe she spotted some?
I feel like this is a boring post, it is even boring me. I think I'll get back to browsing.

Typing my thoughts....atleast a few of them.

Lundi has safely arrived at the House house and is having a marvelous time with her cousins. The flight was uneventful and on time, which is a big relief. I was really hoping they would make their connection and not have any delays.
I had to scare her into sticking with Juanita at the airport, as she is used to a "very long leash" and is unaware of the dangers of the world. I'm not sure if I explained it the best way, but she did get the point. I told her that there might be bad strangers that want to hurt her and she needed to be with Juanita so she would be safe. We've had the talk before, like when we go to Boston or an event where there are lots of people. I don't want to make them paranoid or take away their innocence. I don't want them to be afraid of the world. I don't want them to be suspicious of everyone they meet. But I have yet to find a way to keep track of five distractable (is that a word) kids with 10 eyes, 10 ears, 5 noses, and 10 feet, all pursuing their own spontaneous interests, without saying...."If you can't see me it means you are too far." When we are home, they have alot of freedom, they roam and roam and I never worry about them. The (only)downside to this is that they have no clue about the evil things that go on in the world. I still would not trade this place for anywhere else to live.
Liam is now a crazy walker. Just in the last few days he has figured out that walking is faster than crawling. He even gets back up and continues walking when he falls, instead of crawling. It's about time, he is 17 months, our latest walker so far. I remember now how much more trouble they can get into when they are up rite. I can't count how many things he has spilled something by reaching up to a bowl or cup left too close to the edge of the kitchen table. And every time it surprises him (with a gasp because it is cold and usually gets him right in the face) as if he didn't expect anything to come pouring out. Oh well, I have made it through 4 other toddler hoods, I guess I can make it through another.
We went Savannah's party last night. We went to celebrate her birthday, being in remission and being out of isolation. She is one strong kid and has over come alot in her little seven year old life. Cancer is.....well, i can't think of a bad enough word to describe me feelings. In the last three years it has threatened the lives of several people that i care about and love. I have been closer to it than I ever cared to be. I just hope and pray that I never get any closer, or that it never gets any closer to me. It is horrific. Chemo is like killing someone while trying to make them live. Cancer is a beast that is extremely difficult to sleigh. I am thankful to the Lord that Savannah is alive and thriving. If you care to, you can read her story on Carepages. The name of her page is princesssavannah (all one word).
The kids and the calendar are in need of attention. Mike and I have some planning to do. The kids have some playing to do. I think we'll send them outside.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Under the Weather....again.

I guess I kissed that sick baby one too many times, as i have caught his cold which he caught from a friend who kissed him. (Who, I ask you, can resist those cheeks?)
My Mom made mention recently that we are "always sick." Maybe it is true. Wasn't it just two weeks ago that I was in the hospital with tonsillitis? And the kids all had fevers at the same time? I suspect this is just a continuation of the last ailment that went through the house. With seven people, it tends to go around and back around again. Maybe our house is too small. Maybe I need to be better about taking and giving vitamins. Maybe our ailments come in waves, as we weren't sick at all, not even once, this past winter.
Anyway, life goes on. I intend to be totally well before Mike goes back to school and becomes unavailable. Boy, that will be a hard adjustment. It has been great having him around this summer, even if it means we've had no money.
cough, cough, cough, cough. I think I will go to bed now. I intended for this post to be longer, but slumber awaits me.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

New Header

I thought that Mike's graphic designing skills might be getting a little rusty, so I decided to put them to the test. As you can see, he did a fine job.
My children are beautiful and I thought it was appropriate to decorate my blog with the faces of those I write about. I chose each picture carefully and tried to find ones that said something about them. Here are my thoughts on each child's picture......
C---Intellectual. A happy child. Distinguished. Amazing vocabulary. Hands on, can build fantastic things with Lego's. Craves individual attention. Is a friend to all......the elderly, babies and everyone in between. Friendly. Persistent. Focused.
L---Was she ever a baby? This child has always acted 2-3 years older than she is. Kind spirit. Helpful. Perceptive. Caring. Pensive. Great artist. Loves babies. Peace maker. Loves to learn. Driven....can accomplish anything she puts her mind to.
H---Energetic. Inquisitive. Affectionate. Tough. Athletic. Strong. Sweet.....sings "I Am a Child of God" to L whenever he cries. Hard worker. Great imagination. Loves Jesus. Has a very strong love for the elderly. Enjoys contact sports.
L---Joyful. A happy child. Easy going. Squooooooshy, and gives great hugs. Playful. She has the memory of an elephant. Beautiful spirit. Wants to please. Compassionate. Loves to care for others when they are sick or hurt. She loves sunsets, starry skies and beautiful flowers. She loves animals, too.
L---Moving forward. Wants to be big. Beautiful blue eyes. Loves to giggle. Cuddly. He has the cutest (almost edible) toes. He loves water (both to drink and to play in). Patient. Turbo fast crawler. Adores his siblings.
I hope their pictures portray their personalities. They truly are beautiful little people, both inside and out, and I love them dearly. They have blessed our lives beyond description. I love being their Mother.

Lundi Walking in Truth

Lundi’s Talk
August 19, 2007

My talk is about “I can recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost.”
If I did something wrong and I told what I did and I wish I hadn’t done it. I pray for forgiveness and I feel better. I know that is the Holy Ghost.

One night I was having a nightmare. I woke up and I prayed that I would not have that dream anymore. Then I started thinking about happy things. After a few minutes I fell asleep again. I know the Holy Ghost comforted me.

Just last week I received the Gift of the Holy Ghost. I know that if I listen to the still small voice I can be prompted, or spoken to by the spirit.

In Moroni chapter 8 verse 26 we read this: 26 And the remission of sins bringeth
meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with

I know that if I pray then I will be comforted by the Holy Ghost. My testimony is that I know the Holy Ghost can prompt me and keep me safe from sin. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Lundi wrote this completely on her own and even looked up the scripture in the Bible dictionary. Now, I know that she did sway a little bit away from the assigned topic, but all in all she did fantastic and I was filled with joy when she came and read it to me. She does not have alot of experience with being least not that she recognizes. As she grows older and spiritually matures, she will get better at recognizing the promptings of the Holy Ghost.
I really love the way she shared personal experiences. It tells me that she is "getting it." There is a scripture that I love and think of often. It also helps me to keep my priorities in check. The absolute most important thing that I need to teach my children is the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that if they have their own convictions of its truthfulness, the Lord will direct their lives and everything else will fall into place. Here is the scripture:

4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. --3 John 1:4

This scripture comes to mind on a regular basis when we have spiritual experiences together. Layer upon layer I want to arm them with a testimony of the gospel so that when they leave my home they will continue to walk in truth. I am indeed grateful this day for Lundi and her desire to live the gospel. She is a special daughter of God and I hope she will always walk tall in this knowledge.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Good germs fighting bad germs!

(I'm not sure what happened to my brain when I spelled germs with a "j", but I really do know better. I don't know what happened to spell check on the puter, but my spell checking friend brought it to my attention, so now it is fixed).

Harrison woke up this morning with a fever. I asked him how he felt and he said he was cold and wasn't really hungry for breakfast. He perked up after the ibuprofin took affect and I asked him if he was feeling better. He said...."Ya, Mommy. And you know what? In my tummy the good germs are fighting really hard to kill all the bad germs. They are having a war and the good germs are winning! That's why I am feeling better!" I wondered where he learned that. I found that to be a perfect explaination of his immune system. He is a smart boy.
As the day progressed, he felt better and better, without being medicated. So, we decided to go to the Great Falls Balloon Festival. It was neat to be close to the ballons as they were being filled. I have never watched the process before. Afterward there were fireworks. Liam loves fireworks. We are back home late tonight, everyone went straight to bed. Tomorrow we will head to Brunswick for the Air Show! I love Air Shows! The Blue Angels will be there, so it will be neat.
G'Night All!!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Cracking the Whip

I was called a mean Mom today, by at least one of my children. Ever so often I just can't let it go any longer....the mess, I mean. There were dolls, Lego's, puppets, dirty clothes, MegaMagz, books, bike helmets, crayons and doll houses adorning my living room floor when I got up this morning. My first thought was....."Where are the trash bags?" I was gone most of the day yesterday, so I am sure it did not get picked up. Mike would just rather send them outside to make messes and he doesn't like to nag them to clean up. So I usually get to be the mean Mom that requires everyone to clean up after themselves. So I ask you dear reader....Is there a nice way to get kids to clean up? I say things like..."If we work as a team, it won't take us very long." or something along those lines. We have done races, rewards, games, given each person a category (for example: Lundi, your job is the videos and the doll clothes). I have tried to do it all by myself and it is simply impossible. I get mad when I don't ask for help because I feel like it is 6 against 1. I also feel like they should be responsible for picking up after themselvs, with the exception of Liam, ofcourse. There is usually alot of himming and hawing, but they usually comply. The house gets messy in less than a day. There are seven people living in this house, so it is to be expected. But I really want to teach them to do it without being asked. I hate being a nag.
Now that my vent is over, I will move on to the pleasant parts of the day.
It rained and thundered this evening and I LOVE the Maine rains. Liam is walking more and more. When he does, I have to stop what I am doing and watch. A baby learning to walk is one of the cutest things about childhood. Caleb finished the 4th Harry Potter book tonight. He has been through it very fast. The kids caught frogs (again) in the pool today. I think they are catching the same ones over and over again. They catch them, bring them to a different location in the yard and let them go. I think they find their way back to the pool, but we won't tell them that. Lundi goes to Utah in seven Thursday to be precise. I know she will have a great time with her cousins. I still like my haircut. I am slowly gathering stuff to "study" next year for homeschooling. I am looking forward to getting back into our school year routine. I tried a new recipe for dinner tonight. Nobody liked it. Not even me. Would you? It was (cold) avocado and tomato soup. I also made chicken patty sandwiches because I was pretty sure they wouldn't like the soup. However, I do like to try new recipes every once in a while.
I need to go to bed now. I will have Mattea bright and early tomorrow so Juanita can study again. She wants to get all of the work done before she goes to Utah. I hope the weather is good so I can send them outside and keep the messes in the house to a mimimum.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Light Headed

It has been over a year since I have been to see Loraine, my lovely hairdresser. My hair was so long and I was feeling so frumpy looking. For the last few months I have resorted to putting it up in one of those "claw things" as the kids refer to them. It got way too long to blow dry, both in length and time, so I just started putting it up.....which I hate. But today.....I went to see my hero Loraine. She did a fabulous job and I love my haircut! It may sound crazy but I love new haircuts. And did you see that huge pile on the floor? I should have taken a picture of it. She commented on how she usually has that much hair after a whole day of cutting hair. We have thick hair in our family. Too bad we can't sell it for the same price as alpaca hair, which is $40.00 an ounce, I would be rich!
Liam looked at me funny when I got home, trying to figure out if I was Mommy or someone else. It is a drastic change, but I like it. When I picked him up to kiss him he gave me a big smile.
Mike has been so supportive of me being gone alot this summer. I haven't gone anywhere in particular, just out with friends, running errands alone (sans les enfants) and such. It is not that I strive to be away from them. It's just that when Mike is in school.......the housework, the shopping, the homeschooling, the errands, the appointments....everything is up to me. He is just too swamped with schoolwork to be available for the homefront. Nursing school is grueling. I am bracing myself for when he starts again in three weeks. In the meantime, I will eat him up and we will do lots of fun things as a family. I love that man and am so honored to be his wife. So in the middle of the year when I am feeling like I can't do it alone anymore....I will once again remind myself..."He is doing it for US, so that we can have a better life. It IS worth the sacrifice!" We will miss him....again. But "I will gird up my loins, fresh courage take. Our God will never us forsake." We know that this is what we are supposed to be doing and the Lord will help us all through it. I guess you might say that this a pep talk for myself, as I know what I am getting into. We'll make it.....with much prayer and patience, ofcourse!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

So She Says

My Mother has paid us a recent visit and I have yet to record the experience. Over all, it was pleasant; and though I spent four out of the nine days she was here in the hospital, I think the rest of the family would agree.
I learned alot about her while she was here. One being that she develops emotional attachments to things and gets offended when others don't do the same. For example....she made jewelry for my girls and gave them to them when she got here. Well, Lauren just wanted to carry hers around, puting it on and taking it off many times throughout the day. Well Mom didn't like this idea and insisted that she didn't care about them because she wasn't keeping them put up. I told her that wearing them was her way of showing that she liked them, and I didn't want to make her put them away. She then said "Fine, then I won't make her anything ever again if that is how she is going to treat them." Which didn't make sense to me, because I would feel flattered if she wanted to wear them all the time. I think my Mom likes things better when they are "put away", as in not being used for their intended purpose. For instance.....books that stay neatly on a shelf, jewelry in the jewelry box, antiques on a shelf, towels and sheets folded neatly in the linen closet, games in their boxes, shoes in the shoe box.....I could go on and on. As if it's a disappointment when they get used. Like they aren't allowed to serve their intended purpose, or "these shoes aren't important to you unless they last you for three years. If you wear them out in a month, I'll know that they are not important to you." (Isn't that backwards???) I use to share this mentality until I had children of my own and thankfully realized how rediculous it is. I will spare my children the burden of "saving things." I know that emotional attachments to things only brings disappointment. I have a freind who once said "I learned a long time that you have to choose between things and children, I chose to have children." What great wisdom.
She also mentioned to me (several times) that Caleb has such a hard time in life and why is he such an angry child? That he needs to learn to share and not get so mad when the other kids take his stuff. What????? He just spent 3 hours making this intricate Lego masterpeice and he shouldn't get mad if Lauren or Harrison destroys it? (Maybe this is another example of emotional attachment to things, if so I guess I am a hypocrite and I should not have defended him). Anyway, I said "Mom, he is the oldest, he is 10 and just wants to have his own stuff left alone. He is very good to his sibs. He plays well with them, but also wants his own time, too. What is wrong with that?" So she says...."Are you always going to defend him? When are you going to admit that he is a brat and do something about it? You shouldn't play favorites, you know." So I then replied "Mom, I don't favor him or treat him any different than I do the others and I won't ever think of him as a brat. I just know him, his heart, his needs and his frustrations and am doing my best to raise him and make him feel important. Yes, he expresses anger in a much more noticable way than the other children, but it is something we are aware of and working on. We all have our weaknesses. He is not a little adult with all of his passions bridled, his emotions always under control or his temper in check. (Most adults don't, BTW). He is a learning, growing, changing person who has only 10 years experience in life. I think he is doing great!" She then gave me the "Well, whatever. I guess we will just agree to disagree, then." We then had a phone conversation after she was home when she again said "I don't know why Caleb is such an angry child, do you?" She says it as if it is a label that he should be locked into, like it is a disease he has and he will never escape it. Does she want to condem him? That is how I feel when she says it. I am sick of her bringing this up. I personally don't think he is an angry child. Am I missing something? Is she misunderstanding him? Am I blind? When she says this I question my relationship with him. Do I really know him or am I just fooling myself? Does she (with all of her age and wisdom) see something that I don't? Is he going to grow up hating me as his Mother and the rest of the world just because they are there? NO!!!!! It is not like that. He is a son of God, a special and sincere person who loves, laughs and lives. We did take him to a behavorial clinic a few months ago just to find out how we could parent him better. Mind you, this process did not stem from him being angry, this has never been a concern for us. We had him evaluated because we were concerned about him worrying about so many things (adult worries) and because we felt like he was having a hard time focusing on things that had to do with him. There are two important things that we learned about Caleb during this evaluation. One being that he often feels "brushed aside" (so easy to do to the oldest of five kids) and the other thing is that he feels like he doesn't get enough one on one time with us. This is a time management issue that we need to change. As we have worked on these things, Caleb has gotten better in alot of areas. When she brought this up (again), I just decided that she wants him to be angry. And maybe he did act up more when she was here (I didn't notice it). Maybe he just feels like she doesn't like him.
I love this child and am honored to be raising him. I know that he will go far in life and need not listen to those who want to get in his way. I will protect him from those who want to put dots him. (Think of the Max Lucado story :)