That losing one of my children would be unbearable. Don't all mothers feel this way? We all hope and pray that our babies out live us, that we get to see them into adulthood and that we simply pass on when we are aged and seasoned. Nobody wants to think about the possibility of facing such agony that would undoubtedly be ours if we lost a child.
But to some it is reality. I have a friend who is coming closer to this reality every day of her life. She happens to be the Mother of a terminally ill child. A few years ago, back when her daughter was first diagnosed with cancer, I was awakened to a whole new perspective that I had never (truly) considered before. Yes, I have been taught all my life that families can be together forever, that God has a plan for each of us and we need to trust in Him. These are eternal truths that I embrace. It is one thing to "know" that these things are true, yet another to live them when this knowledge is being challenged. The perspective that I speak of (that this friend unknowingly shared with me) is that when these principles are practiced, when that leap of faith is taken, the Lord truly does stand by our side. The Mother of this child is a pillar of strength. One of the first things that I heard her say (with conviction and a tear in her eye) after her daughter was diagnosed was "No matter what happens, we know that she is ours forever." She not only uttered those words three years ago when the prognosis was good, but still proclaims them as her daughter is coming closer to concluding her mission on earth.
I have learned through this friend that it is indeed bearable. Our Savior Jesus Christ and a loving Father in Heaven make it possible.
I also came across a blog lately http://www.adailyscoop.blogspot.com/ that has deeply touched me. It contains the intimate details of a mothers life who recently lost her baby in a drowning accident. Camille was fourteen months old when she died. Stephanie (the Mother) is another shining example of someone with an eternal perspective. I have laughed, (the toilet picture), cried and been more inclined to always have one of my babes on my lap whenever I am sitting down on the couch. I am more grateful for their lives, less inclined to yell, better able to look at situations objectively and especially grateful to have the honor of being their Mother.
I need reminders in my life (even if it's through the blog of a stranger) to keep me moving forward, to remind me that my family is eternal and that the goal is to all make it home together.
Yesterday Lauren had her butterfly net and she said "Mommy, can Jesus see me right now?" I said "Yes." She then said "I want to catch him in my butterfly net and bring him down from heaven so that I can keep him with me. Is that a good idea?" Yes, Lauren...is is a good idea. Thank You Heavenly Father for blessing me with such beautiful little souls in my life. Thank You also for placing people in my life who teach me to treasure them more and more each day.