Things My Children Teach Me

J.S. ( a fine young man in our ward) is leaving on his mission soon. Today he and his parents spoke in sacrament meeting. J.S. also just happens to be a very talented pianist and has a beautiful voice. Today he shared these talents with us by playing a medley of his favorite hymns while singing. It was during the Song "I Need Thee Every Hour" when Harrison turned to me and said "Mom, it feels like my heart is shining really brightly." I said to him "That's the spirit, Harrison." He then said "I know, and Jacob brought it to me." I had to smile and say a silent prayer of gratitude to the Lord for sending this spiritual giant into my life. I then realized what I had been missing out on while I was being distracted by the other kids. I committed to focusing on the medley and then my heart started to shine, too.

After family scripture tonight, I reminded the children to pray for those who were searching for a lost little girl. Lauren automatically assumed it was the girl who's picture adorns nearly every telephone pole between here and three towns over. She has been missing for nearly twenty years. I told her "No, this is a different little girl. She is eight and has been missing since yesterday."
The rest of my conversation with Lauren tonight went like this:
L: Is Savannah watching her and making sure she has some food?
M: I'm sure she probably is.
L: I miss Savannah so much. Is she almost done being in Heaven? (as if she is away in a trip)
M: Well, it may seem like a long time, but it isn't really too long. (but we really won't realize this until we see in hindsight)
L: OK, I can't wait 'til she gets resurrected next week.
M: I don't know if it will be next week. We're not exactly sure when the Savior will come and everyone will be resurrected. But we do know that He is coming.
L: I remember when she was laying in the ......um.....what's that pink thing called?
M: The casket?
L: Ya, the casket. She was so tiny and little in there. And very reverent.
M: Yes, her body was very still. Do you know where her spirit was when she was in the casket?
L: Um, it was with her Mommy. Or was it with Jesus?
M: I think both.

Then in typical five year old fashion, she randomly started talking about something else. I hugged her and kissed her and sent her to her room to wait for Mike to come have personal prayer with her. Five seconds later she comes down the hall way, dragging her puppy and her blanket and says "Mommy, I wanna say my prayers out here tonight." I said "OK, come sit by me." In her prayer, several times over, she said "Thank you that Savannah will be resurrected next week. We miss her so much." She also prayed that Leah would be found soon.
It reminded me of when Kiara kept coming to the casket time and time again to kiss her sister, then run off to play some more, on the night of the viewing. It was like she was checking in with her, making as many connections as she could before the casket would finally be closed. Often times it is as though children just inherently know that life continues after death. It is such a beautiful thing to see the perfect faith of a child.
My prayer tonight is that Heavenly Father will comfort even the littlest hearts that mourn for Savannah. As they try to piece it all together, I pray that their faith will be strengthened. These children are an example to those like me who sometimes forget the simplicity of it all. He lives. Little children are alive in him. Their perfect faith is what I am striving for. They are such a blessing in my life.

KKS

Inspired Again

Don't you just love inspiring people who blog about amazing experiences that have enhanced their lives. Sometimes these experiences are pleasant and sometimes they are a big trial. I have discovered a blog that tells a heartbreaking story about a couple that was in a plane crash a couple weeks ago. Both of them were severly burned and are on a long road to recovery. They have four young children, who are currently being cared for by family. I check this blog every day. I love the way Jane (the sister of Stephanie, who was the woman in the crash) so eloquently describes what is happening from day to day. It makes me cry, it is so beautiful.
If you are looking for some way to reach out to another in love, or be touched by an amazing story, you can find it here http://cjanerun.com/

KKS

More From Us....

Caleb, Harrison, Lauren and Lundi at Smalls Falls. August 2008

We put these muscles to good use today and yesterday when we mowed the lawn.

This is the first time this year we have done such a thing. After we searched high and low for the broken part for the tractor (last year), we finally broke down and bought a push mower. Yes, we wanted another tractor, but the push mower was in our budget. This late in the season, they're ready to clear them out to make way for snow blowers, so we got it on sale at Sears.Harrison was the first to take his turn at mowing yesterday. Did I ever mention the great work ethic that this kid has? Especially when it comes to (what he calls) "manly jobs." He loves to do things that require muscle, which is why he is so buff!

He mowed for a good hour and a half yesterday, pushing and pulling with all his might. He could have done it in half the time, had he followed my council. You have to understand, the lawn was my favorite job (still is) when I was a kid and I took pride in my great rhythm of "row by row." I am so anal about this and it drives me crazy to watch him mow because he simply can't mow in a straight line. It has the bar that you can pull down to engage the wheels to turn. This makes it hard to mow straight if you are seven. So, I just looked away and occasionally walked out there to point out his missed spots and let him carry on. As the kids get older, they will be able to do the whole lawn by themselves (2-3 acres is too much for any one of them) and I will eventually have to hand over the reigns of the lawn mower.
Harrison lost one top tooth last week one one today. Thank goodness that other one fell out today, he was a snaggle tooth. It was looking pretty bad. I started calling him "Carnie." He got tired of it being in the way, so he yanked it out himself. He is so tough.

Harrison about to lose his fourth baby tooth.
August 27, 2008


Liam at Smalls Falls. August 2008

Lundi, Harrison and Caleb.

Smalls Falls. August 2008

Lauren at Smalls Falls. August 2008

Here is proof that Liam is doing a great job at being a toddler. He gets a new one of these atleast every other day. Not all of them are quite so colorful.

When we went to go pick Lundi up from Girl Scout camp, we took some time to explore a little bit of Baxter State Park. It was beautiful.

Here is Lauren (with attitude) posing for the camera.

Lauren and Harrison at Baxter Staye Park. August 2008

Liam (with turtle in tow) at Baxter State Park. August 2008

It's getting late and I need to still write letters from the Tooth Fairy to accompany the cash that will be placed under pillows tonight. Caleb, Harrison and Lauren have all lost teeth in the last month. What can I say? She's a little behind.

KKS

Long Time No Post

I know....the posts are sparse lately. Pregnancy really puts a damper on ALL that I want to do. It's like I am on "couch rest" or something. The kids have learned to expect my frequent rests, though, and have become alot more independent the last few weeks. Even Liam can now get his own "nack" out of the fridge.

The latest and greatest at our house looks something like this:

Caleb has caught on to the thrill of Star Wars. We bought a new lawn mower. We are still trying to get rid of the dog, she's too stinky, too crazy and nobody is able to make the time to train her. Starting school next week. It will be good to be back on a regular schedule. A couple of the kids are getting over a cold. I ended up bleaching the stinky towels that were used to clean up milk. I figured after 5 washes, it was the last resort. Besides, they were worth more to me bleached than they were stinky. The new van is going great, the black car is near death. We are diligently searching for a place to move that is closer to the hospital. We are sick of paying $450.00+ on gas every month. Mike absolutely loves the E.R. and is almost sure that this is where he will spend his nursing career. Mike and I went down to O.O.B. , once again, to look for an assisted living place for Laurette. She isn't able to live alone, but not sick enough for a nursing home. The waiting lists of these places is incredibly long. The process of finding care for an old person is tedious and difficult. She doesn't want to live here because our house is too noisy, even with her hearing aids off. (Imagine that). The de-junking of the house is slowly coming along. When we move we are NOT bringing the junk with us. I am going to adopt Kristen's method.....keep one out of four things. It has been so liberating to get rid of so much. The other day, we got rid of 4 bags of clothes, a huge bag of videos/DVDs, 4 boxes of books and 5 trash bags of toys, which were all broken, never played with, out grown or had missing parts. We have much more to go, but it's a good start. I love purging, I feel so free when the clutter is gone. The baby is growing every day and the movements are getting stronger and more noticable. Feeling the baby move is my favorite part of pregnancy. I am still teaching institute, and loving it. We just finished the Old Testament and will start the New Testament in September. I will be down two students, though, because they are off to college.

There is so much more, but my pillow calls.

Bonne Nuit.

KKS

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Savannah!!!

I am so inadequate when it comes to these things. Eloquence is not one of my strengths. But I know I will regret it if I don't record my thoughts of Sweet Savannah on what would have been her eighth birthday.

She passed away two weeks ago today. The Lord needed her home and she very graciously fought the fight to the end.

I am so grateful for the lessons she taught me and my family. She is beautiful inside and out, a princess to all who knew her, and best of all, a precious daughter of God and an instrument in His hands. She had a very special mission on earth, and continues that mission in a far holier place. We will miss her eyes, her smile and her laughter. I feel honored to have known her. We love you so much, Savannah. Happy Heavenly Birthday!!!!
KKS

Boy Girl Boy Girl Boy.........

........Girl, of course. That's right, I had an ultra sound last week and our sixth child is a girl. We kept our pattern. Someday I'll patten my secret and make it known to the rest of the world. We took all the kids with us, these appointments are (by tradition) always attended by the whole family. So, all seven of us crowded into that little room to find out the gender of the baby. Everyone is happy. The kids have been saying all along that it had to be a girl so it would be "even." Lauren was so cute....everytime the baby put her hand up, she would giggle and wave and say "Look, Mommy, she is waving at me!!"
As she stirs in my belly, I am grateful for this new life. She will, indeed, make a most merry Christmas present.
We're not sure on the name yet...we've got plenty of time for that. Many people are calling her "Audrey" but we are not set on that name yet. Any suggestions are welcome.




KKS

Oh Baby!

My appointment was uneventful yesterday. I tried to hide my relief when she put the Doppler on my belly and found the heart beat right away. It was music to my ears.

My uterus is right where it should be...and then some. I am measuring at nineteen weeks, which is expected with baby number six. I still can't figure out why my clothes still fit, but for now I'll enjoy it.

I had my early screening for diabetes yesterday. I hate drinking that nasty orange syrup, which they try to disguise as soda. It made me shaky and dizzy and by the time I checked in I could hardly think straight. I know I have it, so why the torture? I have been using my glucometer off and on for about a month now and my sugar has never been below 120. I took my sugar this morning before I ate and it was 195. Yikes!!! A safe range is between 90 and 100. The sooner I get the script for the gliburide, the better. I'll call for my results tomorrow.

Caleb had a dentist apointment today to repair a chipped tooth. Lundi has one tomorrow to get a cavity filled. Her appointment is at 2:10 and she doesn't get out of summer camp until 4:00, so she is very disappointed that she has to miss the last two hours.

Lundi and Harrison are having a great time at camp this week. I have to say, though, that my kids are a bit in shock when it comes to the public school culture. No, this is not a PS camp, but the children who attend camp also attend PS. Harrison is a compassionate little boy and doesn't like to see people left out. It hurts his feelings when he tries to be kind to people and they reject him. I think it's terrible that compassion is sometimes seen as a weakness or uncool. When he related an experience to me today, I wanted to un-enroll him. But I didn't. I thanked him for trying to be like Jesus and told him we would pray for the "mean" boy tonight.

Caleb had a similar experience last week. On Monday there was a little girl who kept coming up to him and swearing at him. He said "Mom, she was using words that you or I have never heard before! I kept chasing her away and telling her to stop." So I asked him "What can you do tomorrow to improve the situation?" He said "But Mom, I asked her a hundred times to stop."

"OK", I said "Maybe you can pray for her. Maybe she doesn't know how to make friends, or maybe she doesn't have any friends. Sometimes kids talk like that because they think it makes them look grown-up or important. Tomorrow if she doesn't stop, maybe you could go to the counselor and tell her that the language is offensive to you and then let her take care of it, OK?" He said "that sounds good, Mom."

Next day....first thing he says when he gets in the van...."It worked, Mom!! I offered her a piece of gum, asked her not to swear and now we are friends.! She's not that bad after all." I said "That's great, son. You handled it very well."

So there you have it folks, my son who has very little experience in the outside world came through like a champ. Now I know that all of the Moms out there who send their kids to PS have these experiences on a regular bases, but this is our first real encounter with the culture of PS. I think he did pretty good.

I am not saying that swear words defines PS culture, it is only a small part of it. To give you an idea, here are a few things that my kids have learned this week.......

*The meaning of "cutting" and not to do it.

*Trading snacks out of their lunches.

*Not to hold someones hand, even if you really, really, really want to be their buddy.

*That all 7 year olds should have iPods.

*That everyone does almost everything (eating, lining up, walking somewhere) together, at the same time.

*Changing in front of other kids, which they do not like at all. (swimming is a daily activity at camp).

*That "OMG" is a very common phrase. (I am glad this offends them).

I had forgotten about alot of these things. I have realized this week that my kids are quite clueless when it comes to fads, popularity and the conveyer belt method of doing things. Is it good or bad? I don't know yet, only time will tell. I'm just glad that childhood is temporary and

whether or not they ever learn the culture of PS will have no bearing on their success as an adult. Yes, that stresses me out to think that their education is totally up to me, but I know that this is right for our family.

KKS

Seventeen Weeks

Yesterday I reached the seventeenth week of my pregnancy. Months 4, 5 and 6 are usually the best for me. The sickness is gone and I'm not yet big enough to be miserable. The problem is....I worry way too much. (Bang! Bang! I am a "worrier"....remember that song? Except she says she is a "warrior"?). Anyway, I always worry about something. As much as I hate being sick, it is a good sign that I won't miscarry. I know it's crazy, but when I feel good, I worry more. This time I am worrying about the baby not growing. I am still wearing all of my regular clothes and it seems like I was too big for them at this stage with my other babies. I am going to the doctor tomorrow and will (most likely) have all of my fears put to rest.

I very much enjoyed our meetings today. The talks in sacrament meeting were about missionary work and I was reminded that I need to be so much better. Brother Cundick said that in this work, there can be no failures. Something good always comes from it, either for the one sharing the gospel or for the one that it is being shared with. So true.

"Words of Hope and Consolation at the Time of Death" was our RS lesson today. It was very special. Everyone in the room was touched by Savannah's presence. I was in awe at how much she was teaching us, even as she slept in her Mother's arms. She has touched, and will continue to touch, so many lives.

Tonight at dinner the kids had many questions about Savannah. They saw her at church and could tell that she wasn't well. We talked about how she would be going home soon and that the Lord was preparing her and her family. I reminded them that the H's need our prayers.

Lauren got very excited tonight when it occurred to her that Savannah was going to get to meet President Hinckley. She then asked if Savannah would be resurrected. In her mind, that simply means that death is not final. I assured her that she would be and she gave me a hug and said "I love Savannah, Mommy. I don't want her to be sick any more." I thought "what a beautiful example of compassion" and as I shed a tear I told her "That's the same thing her Mommy said in Relief Society today."

I am so grateful for the plan of salvation. Life does not end at death, there is so much more. From an eternal perspective, life on earth is only a small moment. We will see our loved ones again, I know that. This knowledge brings much comfort to those of us left behind.

We are told that when we get to the other side of the veil, our mortal existence will seem like a blink of an eye. Sometimes I wish the "shortness" of it all could be seen in foresight, instead of only in hindsight. Then it wouldn't seem so long until we could see our loved ones again. When I mentioned this to someone today, she reminded me that we wouldn't learn as much. It all comes down to faith, doesn't it? Exercising, building and acting upon faith, that is what the Lord wants us to do. Today I learned to trust in him a little more. I thank him for the spiritual renewal that I received this day. He loves us.

KKS

Hurt

There is way too much of it in this world. When someone hurts me, I don't like to tell them. I usually keep it to myself until I eventually forget about it, because deep down inside I really am tender hearted....but don't tell anyone. I am grateful for the reminder that I do not want to hurt another. I am not going to cry about this anymore, I am turning it over to Him. I am so grateful that my Savior can take it away.
KKS

I Have Always Thought.........

Liam's "play-dough toes." June 2008

That losing one of my children would be unbearable. Don't all mothers feel this way? We all hope and pray that our babies out live us, that we get to see them into adulthood and that we simply pass on when we are aged and seasoned. Nobody wants to think about the possibility of facing such agony that would undoubtedly be ours if we lost a child.

But to some it is reality. I have a friend who is coming closer to this reality every day of her life. She happens to be the Mother of a terminally ill child. A few years ago, back when her daughter was first diagnosed with cancer, I was awakened to a whole new perspective that I had never (truly) considered before. Yes, I have been taught all my life that families can be together forever, that God has a plan for each of us and we need to trust in Him. These are eternal truths that I embrace. It is one thing to "know" that these things are true, yet another to live them when this knowledge is being challenged. The perspective that I speak of (that this friend unknowingly shared with me) is that when these principles are practiced, when that leap of faith is taken, the Lord truly does stand by our side. The Mother of this child is a pillar of strength. One of the first things that I heard her say (with conviction and a tear in her eye) after her daughter was diagnosed was "No matter what happens, we know that she is ours forever." She not only uttered those words three years ago when the prognosis was good, but still proclaims them as her daughter is coming closer to concluding her mission on earth.

I have learned through this friend that it is indeed bearable. Our Savior Jesus Christ and a loving Father in Heaven make it possible.

I also came across a blog lately http://www.adailyscoop.blogspot.com/ that has deeply touched me. It contains the intimate details of a mothers life who recently lost her baby in a drowning accident. Camille was fourteen months old when she died. Stephanie (the Mother) is another shining example of someone with an eternal perspective. I have laughed, (the toilet picture), cried and been more inclined to always have one of my babes on my lap whenever I am sitting down on the couch. I am more grateful for their lives, less inclined to yell, better able to look at situations objectively and especially grateful to have the honor of being their Mother.

I need reminders in my life (even if it's through the blog of a stranger) to keep me moving forward, to remind me that my family is eternal and that the goal is to all make it home together.

Yesterday Lauren had her butterfly net and she said "Mommy, can Jesus see me right now?" I said "Yes." She then said "I want to catch him in my butterfly net and bring him down from heaven so that I can keep him with me. Is that a good idea?" Yes, Lauren...is is a good idea. Thank You Heavenly Father for blessing me with such beautiful little souls in my life. Thank You also for placing people in my life who teach me to treasure them more and more each day.

KKS