Sunday, June 17, 2007

Make Enough of Me

I have had so much on my mind lately that I have just been reading instead of writing. Sometimes procrastinating is easier than coming face to face with inadequacy. I know this is a terrible way of thinking, but I am trying to change that about myself so that is why I am here tonight.
It was not a good day. A dear friend hurt me deeply. Perhaps this post should be titled "Vent."
Things I know......
I know that Christ paid the price for my shortcomings and for everyone elses, too.
I know that the Church is perfect, the members are not.
I know that we are all at different points in our spiritual progression.
I know that I am not doing my absolute best in my calling....I need to be better.
I know that some of the things she said are true (hence the pain it caused.)
I know that I should keep a "Look here first" policy when someone expresses to me that I am doing something wrong. In other words, try to be humble.
I know that gossip only hurts people and makes a situation worse.
I know that there are many things that are out of my control.
I know that the Lord loves me and wants me to grow, learn and progress.......Bloom where I am planted.
I know that I don't deal well with confrontation' I either "stonewall" or cry. Today I was trying so hard not to cry.
I know that I fall short in so many areas.
I know that Christ understands my hurt fellings and her frustration.

Alas.....this is my prayer tonight......

Overwhelmed and under paid
Morning comes too soon
Running late and on my plate
A million things to do

Got a baby cryin'
Another trying to find the other shoe
When I open my eyes
The dam will break
Their needs will flood my room

You made wine from water
Raised up Jairus' daughter
From her bed
Filled the empty fishing nets
And with some loaves and fishes fed
A hungry crowd
Make enough of me to go around

My mother's sick
And I'm late to pick up kids at school
I need to clean
Can't fit in my jeans
The fridge gives no comfort food

Multiply and magnify
This tiny little life of mine
Enlarge me
And expand this heart
And fill it with divine

My heart is cold
Nothing grows
But thistles and some thorns
They choke the light
And shrink the vine
I need to be reborn!

You made wine from water
And told a scarlet daughter
Sin no more
Sin no more
Surrendered to the garden
Through thorns and nails you pardoned
The angry crowd
Make enough of me to go around.
----Julie de Azevedo

Again, these are not my words but I certainly appreciate them this night.
I love the scripture that says "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." I don't know that reference. But I know that He lives and and I am grateful that He paid the price even for my sins and shortcomings. Because of Him, I can be better tomorrow.
Slumber awaits me and I need to spend some time on my knees before I go to sleep. I will close for now.

No comments: